13

Thirteen years ago .. birth.. it was traumatic. For both of us. But out of it an amazing girl.. a jewel.. A unique and amazing being with spunk and fire and sass. Im might proud. However, party preparations underway which I must attend to. Not a whole lot of time to chat. So, I will honor my daughter and this day with more words once we wrap up the weekend festivities. 

Offstage.. In the midst of word craft.. volumes appear to be unfolding.

If my life were a 60's sitcom...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LnYFZ9cs0Q

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Someone asked me how I was going to prepare Charlie for the eating.. I declared he would be... "Unrecognizable!" We had a joke around the house about making Charlie Pot Pie.. But I didn't know how to make that. So I sliced him up.. Dismantling a chicken is not a fun process. It's a little nauseating actually... And Connor, sensitive as he is, had a very hard time with what little he perceived when he stumbled around the corner while I was in the midst of it... Anyway I tossed the slices in ranch and breaded in crushed up potato chips. It was truly scrumptious! Oh boy .. I honestly can not tell you how juicy and flavorful he was. But despite that the meal was eaten with more solimnity than most. A quiet mindful reverence hung over our plates. There was gratitude but not in the way of great joyful jubilation. It was thanks embedded in a feeling of loss.  Every bite sort of hard to swallow.  

In retrospect, this whole event has served to remind me how amazingly far away we industrialized nations are from our food. How removed our "typical" food is and how it origins lie beyond a sea of factories... surgical, sterile, chemical.. detaching us from the life we consume. Because whether plant animal or fish.. We eat life. But this simple truth is disguised and lost behind media, marketing and madness. Where is the Reverence? ... For that is what we felt for Charlie... It's almost non-existent. It needs to be reclaimed. 

As a result of this, I am feeling a need to heftily scale back on my meat consumption and eventually limiting it to what we raise and cull ourselves. It doesn't seem right otherwise.

Another unexpected result of Charlie's death has been a shift in fowl formation... The pecking order. Charlie.. Even though he was a bit brutish, kept the young roosters ( of which there are three in check.

 

 

As it is now .. if they aren't trying to dominate each other.. they are banding together to gang rape the hens. It's pure mayhem out there . Lord Stanley has been laying down the law when it becomes to much but he is tired of the petty adolescent behavior.  It may be just about time to hone my butchering skills soon once again. .. does the fact that they look delicious make me a meat monger?

In other news.. Greg was home for a quick and short weekend visit before jetting off to Woodstock. Vegas to Woodstock.. Very different worlds.  Anyway, here is the view from his hotel. Proof it is winter... somewhere!

 

 

I had Greg watch some v-sauce and he seriously had a panic attack. It overloaded his curcuits a bit. He's better now. Love the v sauce!

Anyway here is a really interesting little bit .. During one of Greg's conferences some time ago he had the chance to meet an incredible mind and someone in whose presence he felt entirely humbled. The woman, her name eludes me, is a physicist who has determined a way to .. It's hard to put into words.. Her work is the application of physics to psychology and she does so for the biggest of the big. Essentially she can plot the perfect social structure for an organization.. She can find the people who are hubs and she can tell you where to put them to maximize thier potential or can let you know who to pull to make the ship sink. It sounds to me like she has found a mathematical key for plotting sacred geometry. Think about the power in that. Greg's company is going to be utilizing her services to propel them towards being a mega c o r p .. The sooner we get off that crazy train the better. We are working on an exit strategy, however, In the meantime, it will be fascinating to learn more as that implementation eventually gets started.

I died my hair.. I tried to catch some of the color...

Earlier this week I chaperoned a field trip of Connors to the tech museum in San Jose. Good times and headaches.  The experience began with a lab experience. We did a few experiments. Connor is fascinated by chemistry. I was talking to some of the other moms.. They were about 10 years my senior and they said that they never even learned about the periodic table in high school. I started in jr high and here these 5th graders were being introduced to endo and exothermic reactions. Wow has time altered education. Good? Bad? Debatable.. but not now...  After that we got to play in the museum. 5th grade boys are a hormonal lot and the three I had were not great pals and each wanted to go in different directions the entire time. It was a bit trying at times and I had to get a little fierce once or twice. I was glad when it was over. So was Connor. 

School choices.. There is another option on the table for jr high and hs that is more reasonable/affordable. With a bus!! At a cost, for both kids to attend the private Christian school (yes you heard that right), which is less than the prestigious Monterey all girls school for willow alone.  I've started the applications. Both Willow and Connor are excited at the prospect. So am I as it is the most balanced prospect and will free me up to better pursue employment as I wont be having to do the commuting thing.

Willows birthday is around the corner. 13 almost already! Thanksgiving.. then Chicago. Joyous times ahead to be recanted later. Time now for me to turn in so I can get a run on it all in the am. 

Death, Life and all things in between

Curled up in bed. Toes frozen. They won't warm up in this empty bed. Greg in Vegas. They keep me alert. Awake. Which is maybe a good thing. Allowing me the space to stop and catch a breath and tell some tales from the adventure that is this life I adore and cherish. My aunt has told me step refers the writing to the video which I guess I will placate her some as it also means I can stay curled up.

So it's been a busy week and a half almost since my last post and.. well... Lets start start with Halloween...

Connor was a vampire in the spirit of

Vincent Price.

Willow was a peacock.

I was a gypsy jellyfish and Greg rounded out the lot of us as a monkey man. Irie and Aden opted out this year and stayed to pass out candy to non existent tricker-treaters. The weekend before there was a trunk or treat event at a friend of Connors church, willow had a party to go to, and Connor Greg and I attended a Halloween creepy event at a library put on by the local herpetological society. In other words, we went to check outs snakes and spiders and cockroaches and other such form of slithering and crawling creatures. Good times. Later during the week there was a costume parade at school and parties. The upper grades had a dance which I chaperoned. Chaperoning equates to maintaining the food tables. It was a feast which needed bowls to be filled and drinks to be ready. I assume Willow had a good time but only she could tell you for sure. That night was trick or treating. Which was your standard fair. Not much to say other than it was chilly and bitey.

 

During the week, Connor had a science project to do for school. I happened to catch it on video.  Watch my boy burn through his experiment!
 

In the evenings, I attended a number of school board meetings. Checking out the currents and testing the high school waters. Long story short, there is a program track at one of the local high schools that we have had our eye on. However in the last month an announcement has bee made that the program wished to become a district charter. The process towards that has begun and it has happened quickly. Parents are shell shocked with the news but its moving with such speed because it needs to. If the charter does not move forward and we put Willow in the program ( assuming an inter district transfer is approved and willow qualifies for the program with her grades) then she will be in a school with 1300 students and class sizes of 35 to 50 students. Wha?! Yes 50 in a class. This is an excelled program and the aim for the charter is to get the students out of these overpopulated general   classes and get them more focused studies. Hmmm...  And if the charter passes well we will still need to transfer and acceptance to get in which means this choice is not a done deal. . In a few weeks we will tour a private all girls school.  Through Surfrider I am already acquainted with a couple of teachers there and am certain of the quality of teaching and care of students. Class sizes are about 18. She would do magnificently there. You get what you pay for and I expect I will need to get a job by next fall.

And speaking of work.. I've been mentioning the options that face us here at the ranch.. And.. other than the mushrooms.. We have decided/realized that we are not the farming kind and have let the land lord know that we won't be able to move further in that direction. With Greg's travel and our already brimming full lives it is just not feasible. But... What about starting a food co-op like what has been grown in Reno? If I can get it off the ground...There is my job. If I can get it off the ground.. There is a win for me, for the comunity, and for our region. Im angry at the way things are, the evil driving force of food manufacturing corporations. Taking this on will be a stab at the vile beast. One of the vile beasts anyway.. for evil has many faces. (Maybe more on that later?! Deep topic needs delving first!)   Anyway.. Change has to start somewhere. We are stronger when we build a community.. when we strengthen the ties.  Why not give it a go? What is to loose? So I will be exploring that in depth next trip home and seeing about the steps are needed to move forward... towards a truly better world and towards private school.

This weekend I cleaned out the garage .. ick... rodents.. it is the country after all.  Greg began prepping logs for inoculation out in the grove and we attended a day of the dead party at one of our new neighbors where we learned Mexican dancing. It was quite enjoyable and discussions are in the works for a weekly neighborhood dance workout.
 

This week Willows class put on a poetry reading. They have been preparing for some time and all I can say is WOW!! I was unable to get any footage but let me tell you these kids are talented. Their voices ringing out clear and proud and strong. Poems ranging from dealing with watching a grandmother die of cancer, to ruminations on technology and how it disconnects us from the moment, to declarations of self possession and identity, to simply playing with sound. Mr. T had indicated that the presentation was intended to invoke deep emotion and it did just that. I laughed, I questioned, and I cried.. only a little.. tears staining the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to embarrass Willow in front of her classmates with a fit of sobs and tearing into the tissue although some of the poems certainly could have carried me to the realm of soulful weeping.  It was a wonderful and inspiring experience. And given the totality of these children's voices and their depth of character I realize just how bright our future can be. Bravo!

 

I killed Charlie. That's right, he is dead. I slit his throat Tuesday and tonight we ate him. My first kill ever (well not counting fish.. so removed from our food we are (said in my head with a Yoda-ish accent ). Warm blood bathing my hands. Neighbors pulling up to watch.. seriously.. sort of.. I picked a day and time when I could be alone to do this, allowing me to prepare emotionally and keep my mind on the task. I made a sacred killing space a pace away from the house so the blood would not bring predators into our space. I dedicated a new, sharp knife and cleaver to the task. I strung up Charlie. Hung him upside down. They go passive and calm that way. Id say he didn't see it coming but I told him on the walk to the killing ground and thanked him for. He looked at me and emitted a single "bawk" in response. As if to say "What?!" To which I looked him right in the eye and replied "You know what." After which he accepted his fate with dignity. The deed was done quickly, honorably and thankfully.  Then I dunked him in hot water and the plucking was easy.. That's when I realized I had an audience. They were not watching, distracted with the work they were doing in the adjacent field. Im not even sure if they saw me.. but they were there. Sharing the moment with me. Part of the circle of life... tending to the crops. We all have to eat. The rest of the process was harder and more time consuming. Skinning and gutting. Interesting.. here is the lung.. here is connective tissue.. Here is the craw.. That part took me the better part of two hours. But dang if he wasn't tasty. The meat in his legs was sooo dark. Darker than any turkey drum I have seen at Thanksgiving and certainly darker than any I have ever seen on a chicken from the store.



Charlie Before
 



Charlie After

And since you cant taste him.. I closing I leave you with this mornings sunrise and  this fun little mimicry of  a hen...