Giving props where props are due

Greg earned a 101.97% overall grade in his last (Insert retching sound) Accounting class. Apparently the teacher was impressed. Below are his comments on Greg's final paper. 

Good Morning America. How are you?

Willie Nelson's seems a good place to kick this blog off.  I have been on a bit of a country kick since landing Stateside. The rental cars radio didn't change for 5 days straight and amazingly no song repeated the entire time. Perhaps my sticking to the country channel  had to do with the feel of Vermont or perhaps it has to do with those "Windshield Wipers slappin out a tempo" as I finally find myself back behind the wheel (What a pleasure that is!!)  

We have been here for a week now. Its been a rather busy one. We landed late on Sunday in Montreal. There where some issues with getting a rental car. The one I had lined up was to small to hold our luggage.  They swapped it out for a car with a van that started screaming warnings at me the minute I put it in drive and after an hour long wait we were lined up with a Chrysler Town and Country which fit the bill. We left Montreal and arrived in Burlington in time to order room service and go to sleep. Jet lag and time adjustment took about 4 days to get through the worst of. I had wanted to stay up on the night of the 21st to welcome the Sun as I usually do on the Solstice but being in a hotel in the dark with kids passed out at 7 pm  made that just a little bit to difficult. Anyway,..

Monday I met with my home loan lender at the IRS. In order to secure my loan, they needed confirmation that our 2015 taxes had been submitted to the IRS. Don't get me started on the process of taxes and dual country filing and ... well... long story short ... we were down to the wire as the house closed on Tuesday. Needless to say that the IRS had changed its procedure (In the last few weeks) and it was not as easy an experience as we were expecting but we got it done and we were able to close as anticipated on Tuesday. Whew!

That doesn't mean we moved in on Tuesday.  On Wednesday our air shipment containing some dishes. towels,  lawn chairs and sleeping bags/cots arrived and were unpacked. Thursday was spent checking out the schools and getting the kids registered as well as doing some shopping and we started painting the rooms that needed it (Two of the bedrooms really needed to be toned down otherwise I love the existing color schemes of the home.) Friday our internet was installed and our mattresses arrived. We fought the holiday crowds as we ran some much needed errands to Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond, and the grocery store (all just down the road and easy to get to). Saturday we checked out of the hotel and began to settle in and make ourselves at home. Sunday was spent mostly painting. We had a fantastic feast of Mountain Home (camping .. add water and waalaa) and there were a couple "surprise" gifts on the mantel for the kiddies. Today I went to the Toyota dealership and bought a Tacoma and the last of the painting was finished.

Whew. It has been a very productive week to say the least. The work is by no means done but the bulk of it for now has been seen to and the next few days will be spent attending to smaller details... Like lining up Eye Dr. appointments. Willow keeps laughing at me because I have to take off my glasses and bring things right up to my face to read... could it be time for bi-focals?

The wind is whipping outside and more snow is on the way. It snowed 2 inches on Thursday. I bought a snow shovel on Friday to take care of the driveway and the woman at the registered said, "So you are gearing up for the season." I guess that means we can expect a lot more to come.

It is beautiful here. We are in the middle of a valley with a giant lake not more than 20 minutes away. Already it feels like home. The kids are doing well with the change. Connor is going to do great at his school. And although Willow is a bit overwhelmed by the size the the high school she is happier than I have seen her in a long time.

Meanwhile in Germany,...  The house was packed up on Tuesday and loaded on Wednesday (Hopefully the delivery will be around Jan 20th). Some rental furniture was delivered that afternoon so Greg has a place to sleep and work.  Thursday and Friday he took a Holiday with some friends and  toured a mine and enjoyed some beer and a statue of Karl Marx. Over Christmas he stayed at home and just relaxed. His school course wrapped up. He has two more classes to go before graduating with his MBA in May. He also came in first in the world wide "manufacturing simulation game" that he took part in. He is quite the strategist. In not so happy news, he learned today that the plant has been sold and that things are officially shutting down later this week after he makes the announcement to his team and immediately lets them all go. It is not an easy position to be in and I am hoping that it goes as smooth as can be for him.

With this news, it is pretty certain that he will be on a flight out here at the end of January. We will be waiting..... Unless I devour the children first.

It sure is good to be back! I can't wait to start exploring. As always, more to come soon.

Quick hello before I go

It has been a crazy sort of month filled with the details  and challenges of buying a house in Vermont while living abroad, and managing the process of contract cancellations here. Germans don't move often and their system reflects that. For instance my cell phone.. I can't just go in and cancel it with the payment an early termination fee. I have to submit documents proving my citizenship has been cancelled and then, after three more months, they will disconnect the service. The same goes for Cable, internet and landline services.  Regardless, all the pieces are falling into place and our transition will go rather smoothly. At least this time around we know what to expect at the other end.... apparently Snow and lots of it. I have not driven a car in a year and a half.. it should be interesting.  Anyway.. so it goes. The kids and I leave on the 18th and (it is now official) we close on our house on the 20th. A right and proper way to celebrate the Solstice eh?! Here comes the sun and all that. You know .. making it memorable.  Greg will be out to join us in a few months. We are taking it in stride.

Connor has been busy lately with a new project. He has started a Youtube Channel. Its fun to see how much his editing skills have improved. Check him out at Creed Games.

I could probably go on .. but I wont. I have chores and calls and preparations that demand my attention. I probably won't pop up here again until I am stateside. Despite the insanity there, It will be good to be "home".

Inked

I got a tattoo. And like with everything I do.. well.. Go big or Go Home.  Its healing now. Still sore from the needle and I know that soon it will be itching like a son of gun. But everything comes with a price and I am most willing to pay it.

There are some key elements to the art work that now adorns my left forearm. For starters it has a bird. 

The bird is a skylark.. sort of a totem animal for me. 

Some have described this bird as a "Punk Thrush" because it has a little mohawk. After the artist got done with the outline I realized that the placement of some feathers made it look as though the bird had a ginormous set of balls. Quite fitting in my mind. When I went in for the coloring I asked him to leave it as it was. I explained that it added character. He didn't understand.. But being German this was to be expected but he left it alone anyway.

Another element of the design is the rainbow radiating out of the lighthouse. The rainbow is styled in the Bauhaus tradition of Herbert Bayer's Chromatic Twist (1970).

As Weimar is the home of the Bauhaus movement, I thought it a fitting symbol of our time in Germany. It is also a symbol of "Hope"  and of dreams that carry me through life and feed my soul. 

Some day we'll find it. The rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me. La da da di da da dum da duh da da dum di da ohhh 

The words "Chasing Rainbows all my days" are lyrics from the Iron Maiden song, Ghost of the Navigator.  This song speaks of Homers Odyssey.  It is a personal anthem of sorts. Paying tribute to the epic adventure that has so far been my life. 

And now for the big colorful reveal:

Now that it is done, I set my sails for new lands and new adventures. Come what may. 

Do you do accents?

Not really. I do my own voice. Sometime I do it funny. Here is one way I have decided to expand my range:

*This is a link*

Its a YouTube Channel. It My YouTube Channel. 

All it takes is a smile

My dear Friend and old Neighbor from the Monterey area, Karen,  has been one of my loyal and dedicated readers for a very long time and she often responds to my posts and encourages my writing. In regards to the last few posts, she sent me a message and indicated that she would love to hear the backstory of my mom and Dunkle.

Since I didn't have a chance to sit down with her and have a true visit while we were in the states, I thought I would sit down with a cup of tea and tell her that tale just as I might have.  So Karen (and whom ever else wishes to sit in) grab a cup of joe, have a seat and I will tell you the tale.

I don't have many pictures with me. For the most part, they are in storage in the States. My mom did send me this one and so here is where I will start.

Flashback ... 1979 ... a year in which -57 degrees was recorded in New York and snow was seen in the Sahara Desert. The year Saddam Hussein assumed power. The year the Iatola Komani  declared the US "The Great Satan" The year walkman's were introduced. But this tale is not about the world stage. This tale, more than anything, is about family.

During the late 70's my immediate family lived in Washington state. We were surrounded by my dads parents, his siblings and their families. Together we celebrated and dined often. Such as in the photo, which I think is of my brothers 4th birthday. (In addition to my brother, my Mom, Dunkle and the back of two of my cousins heads are in the picture. Do you see the arm snaking its way around my mom in an attempt to get some cake? That is me!) Anyway, we were a very close family.  And then in the early 1980's, our course change and we relocated to a small town in Northern Nevada. Population 200. Long distance calls were few and far between. It was super expensive to call and our connection to our family in Washington was stretched thin. Fortunate, in Nevada, We had my moms family nearby and they helped fill the void.

Anyway, life goes on and when I was 18 my parents split up. The reasons why are far to complicated to address in a short blog, however, it wasn't due to lack of love. Perhaps the best way to explain is that wounds of childhood traumas where ignored and festered resulting in poor choices and a little neurosis. Regardless, things between them ended just as I went off to college.

And life goes on...  Until it ends. My dad passed away almost 15 years ago while sitting at home in Washington with my Dunkle who he lived with at the time.

Dunkle then went on to remarry an old childhood sweetheart who turned out to be not so sweet. They took in my elderly grandpa and my dads other brother Don who was severely crippled. When my grandpa died I make the trip North. I noticed at the funeral that his wife choose not to attend. Also, Don told me that I could not come visit at the house. Dunkles wife did not want anyone there...ever. It was left at that but it was odd and I knew that things were not right. Attempts to get in/stay in touch with Dunkle were left unanswered and Don wasn't discussing it.

Then, about a year and a half ago, Don died. Dan was away at business and returned home to find Don on the floor in his room where he had been for three days. I learned much later that, when the police came to investigate, his wife said she had heard a crash but didn't care to check on him. Nor did she care that she didn't see him for three days. Anyway,  Dons ashes were placed next to his parents about three weeks before we moved to Germany and at the funeral, I learned from cousins that I was not alone in my impression that Dunkle was miserable.

Meanwhile my mom remarried. It lasted 18 years. She divorced about 5 years ago and was content being a single woman. She had made attempts to step out into the dating world and found the prospects laughable. Better to be single she said. Little did she know..

Soooo... after Dons funeral (We already had all of our things shipped and were making our rounds to say goodbye) we made our way to my moms. While there I said.. "Hey Mom, Dan is very depressed and is struggling. He has lost most of his family and he could really use a smile. Lets send him one!" So we took a selfie and I sent it to him along with moms contact info.

A few months goes by and mom Skypes me to tell me that she is spending New Years with Dan and they are taking a road trip to the town they grew up in. Apparently they laughed and laughed the whole time. She reminded him he didn't have to be miserable.

The next skype brought news of his pending divorce and retirement.

The next one brought news that he had asked my moms parents for her hand. He took my grandma slippers and chocolate and passed on an heirloom rifle to my grandpa. It was a done deal. They were getting married.

I got the cure you're thinking of..

To my last blog my mother replied:
"You are right about the big men!  You are a pill!"
This has left me wondering:
Am I a upper or a downer?

 I aspire to be curative!

With every beat of my heart (aka... Getting vascular )

Home.
Adventure has its benefits, to be sure.
And I wouldn't cash this cherry ride in for anything.
But .. Home.
Sage and Stone.
Open skies and evening breeze.
Thoughts of Home sustain me.

Our trip back to the states was also full of remembrance. How could it not be? What, with the fact that my mom was marring my uncle, We had family long separated by divorce and death reuniting, And an endless supply of picture albums to peruse. Needless to say my fathers presence was ultimately felt and rejoiced in. Thoughts of Dad happily permeated the atmosphere of the entire visit home.

Actually, his presence began to be felt as we were in the lull between our bags being loaded in the car and our actual departure. To waste a few minutes the kids were flipping through youtube channels and landed on some body builder site. After a few minutes I told the kids that he reminded me of my dad. They looked at me a little puzzled. How was my dad anything like this big black man? I could not explain why but in hindsight, at that time I heard more then I saw and so it had to do with the way the guy stammered.. and his feisty delivery.. its was sort of like my dad.

*For some dramatic effect I am switching to a child's voice.. * Daddy's spirit was definitely at the wedding. Duncle... um...That be my Daddy Uncle.. right there.. my Dunkle Dan. he done did told us a story one night wilst we was having us some chowdown. Its one that he has held secret for most of his life.. and its the story of why my Daddy become a Weider (Stumbles over pronunciation) man. * flash  to a picture of a 7 year old, stringy haired, barefoot, buck toothed girl dressed in a guinea sack dress Ma sewed me all grinning up at the camera.*

*Fades back to my Regular voice* When they were boys.. my dad was older. And..well.. he wasn't always kind to his younger brothers. But then again the younger brothers were not always kind to him either. Anyway the sibling scuffles escalated as they grew older and one day my dad sold his brother Dan's new birthday bicycle to a neighbor boy. Dan was very upset and went to the Neighbor boys house and asked but they would not return the bike. So Dan starts working odd jobs. Earning a nickle here and there. Now at that time, moving a lawn, trimming the hedges and edging the walk would get you about a quarter. So Dan set to work and saved. One night after he had saved up a goodly amount he went to the movies with his siblings and was left with 5 dollars change. After the movie, on the way back home, Dan managed to get away from the group and he slipped into the bar. He was maybe 9 years old and my dad 14.. something like that. So he goes to the bar and saddles up next to Floyd. Now Floyd was this enormous 6'2" Native American Lumberjack with a hell of a mean streak. He was the scariest man in Etna.  And so Dan steps up next to him and slides his 5 dollar bill across the bar and tells Floyd that he can have the 5 dollars if he hits someone. So Floyd accepts and they get in the car and find my dad who was walking along dragging a stick along a picket fence. Dan points out dad and Floyd jumps out, belts dad and throws him over the fence. My dad never knew what hit him or why. Dad started weight training the next day. That is how he became a Weider man.

Of all the photos floating around I only walked away with a few. One was this one.

 It shows my Grandparents and my Dad and his siblings. I would guess my Dad was about mid thirties here. (Dad is pictured on the far right and Dan is on the far left). I look at this picture and I am blown away by the fact that I don't think it ever dawned on me just what a beast of a man my father was then or especially back in his hay day.  This photo does not capture that time. By this time, for better or for worse, fatherhood and life had made him softer. But weights and lifting never completely disappeared from his life. In fact they were a cornerstone of my relationship with him. That one moment helped define my father, helped define me... I miss being that defined.  In hindsight, I wish I had listened to his advice of "reps over weight" as I am pretty sure I did some damage to my hip and knee joints and I really should have done more upper body to balance me out but I think I was afraid of losing my boobs.

Sooo, boobs aside..

My uncles story doesn't end there. And while I may not tell this part exactly right, I  think I have the jist of it. Many years later, Dan stumbles upon Floyd at the bar. Floyd is no longer the man he once had been. The years and the bottle had taken a toll. But he would still not someone you wanted to have hit you.  So Dan slides up and starts a conversation and asks if Floyd remembers being paid to hit my dad. And Floyd says "Yeah, so what was up with that." Dan tells him the back story. Then says Ill give you 20 bucks if you go hit him again for me. So Floyd says yeah I'll do it. Whats his name?.So my uncle says my dads name. Horror flashed in Floyds eyes and he pushed the bill away while slurring " No way. I wont fight him..."
"Not even for.."
"Not for nothin!"
Seems my dad had become quite well known in the valley by that time and no body messed with him. Not even Floyd.
Dad was quite the Brute.

If he were alive today I can just see him making comedy based YouTube Videos to rival Kali Muscle. But I think they would be funnier even though his opening would sound much the same.. "Growin up in Etna.. haha. Let me put it to you this way..I had my first gun when I was in Elementary."   In the back of my mind I hear dad chuckle.

Anyway... enough reminiscing for now...As I depart though I thought Id leave a little video for mom of big men stampeding. (She really likes big men) The first guys build reminds me the most of Dad.. only he would need to be super hairier.

Enjoy!

A Taste of Home and Some Wedding Cake

The Germans never look up. Why should they? There is nothing much to see by looking up. There are no stars, no moon, no sun to gaze upon. At least not often as the heavens are so completely and often obscured by grey cloud cover. There aren't even mountain tops to admire. (To put this in perspective, the highest Mountain peak in Germany is about 2900 meters high. The highest point of the Sierra Nevada Mountains is about 4300 meters high). As a result,  their eyes are trained solidly at ground level. They plod along without looking up  Without looking out. Without seeing beyond. This translates into what I think is a cornerstone of their general pragmatism.  Greg would tell you that when asked where his employees want to be in 1,2 or 5 years.. they haven't the foggiest. Its just not in their nature to dream or reach. They simply find joy in what they have.They are supremely practical. There is a deep beauty in it. One of the lessons that was impressed upon me in college, and has proven to be very true, is how so very much of culture is determined by the physical world that a people live in. It is something I admire and if I were to spend a lifetime here without ever really seeing the sky, I would be as German as they come. 

But I would be missing something very central to who I am individually...That expansion of the soul that happens under the stars. Returning to the High Desert, I realized just how much I had missed full moons and sunshine. I soaked up as much of both as I possibly could while I was there. 

I also soaked up a lot of other things. For instance, Americans are very loud and somewhat obnoxious. When previously immersed in it, I didn't tend to see it. But returning, my senses were initially quite jarred  From the stretch of billboards and signs everywhere to the inevitable question of  "Why in the world is this person telling me some superficial story in the supermarket line?"  Americans are really quite colorful, in your ear and all up in your space. It took me a minute or two to adjust to the glare. Now that we are back.. it seems almost too quiet. 

Also something that took some adjusting to was the heat. We went from an typical high of of 66 degrees (19 C) to a daily average of  97 (36 C) with peaks of as high as 109  (42 C). 

Anyway, The trip was split into various phases. Phase 1  consisted of the first 5 days which we spent on the coast. Details are posted in the Album linked below

Phase 1 California

Phase 2 consisted of our relocating to Reno and spending a few days with the Cousins.

Phase 2 Photo Album (Kaleb and Kira's)

Phase 3 . I am not going to edit this photo album like the other one. Instead I am going to tell the story here. After a few days in Reno, we moved on to Carson where we stayed with the Whatleys. They were incredible hosts. We had a party with Dave who was in from France. Nell and David who came up from the Bay Area, Daves and mine dear friend Denise was there as well. I was also able to dig up an old classmate named Tim whose friendship had been very important to Dave back in the day.  It was a lovely little reunion of sorts. Lots of laughter. Later during our week with the Whatleys, we would meet Sydney, Nell, David and the Schoeppler Family at Sand Harbor for a day of sun and sand. Still no one got burned! When we were not visiting with friends, or admiring the scenery (There is such hidden beauty in that stark dry desert!) and the night, we were busy assisting with Wedding preparations or attending to business at the DMV. Two days of governmental fun... now done and a relief. 

Phase 3 - Friends and Formalities

And so we moved into Phase 4. After staying a week with the Whatleys we returned to Reno where we had booked a house rental for the remainder of our stay. It was a lovely little home in Midtown with a pond and deck. Perfect for visiting. The house even came with a cat! We had a night of quiet .. it wasn't that quiet Greg and I ended up going out with Friends to an Art town event and then off for drinks and karaoke/dancing at the gay bar where Greg was manhandled a bit more than he was comfortable with.. but he handled it with dignity while hiding behind a wall of women. The next day the family began arriving from out of state and wedding adventures began. We had a couple young cousins stay over with the kids. There were mani-pedi's with the girls, the heart stopping emergency with a distant Aunt. Then there was the cousins getting locked in their RV for 14 hours.

Phase 4 - Before the Ceremony

Eventually it was time for the nuptuals. My mom looked lovely (If not a little drugged) and Dunkle Dan was dashing. It was wonderful to have all of the family together for such a joyous event. It seems that these days we usually don't gather except for Funerals. How thrilled I am to see these two together. How thrilled we all were actually!

Phase 5- The Wedding and Reception

That evening we all went out dancing at a local hotspot. A funny story, when we came from Germany we brought a little wall decoration that was a heart and on it it said that Gram and Grandpa are the loveliest. Not speaking German it became a joke that Grandma and Grandpa are lesbians. What makes it funnier is that when we were out dancing the only slow song that Mom and Dunkle danced to was Big Little Towns "Girl Crush"

Dance me to the end of time

The next day family began to return home. Goodbyes were said and things began to wind down. We had brunch with Gregs Aunt and remembered Grandma Mary who passed away not to long ago. We went to see movies with Kaleb and Denise. There was a Pokemon Go and Sushi. And then it was time once again to pack up and head back to the Bay Area to catch our flight home. We stayed the night in Alemeda and got in one last (And all together to short) visit with Nell and David. At our hotel, I looked over the baconly and saw a naked red headed barbie doll "sunning" on a towel on the patio below ours. I called it a German Barbie. Later we went swimming and realized that it did indeed belong to some young german girls. How funny is that?

Thats a Wrap

And so we said goodbye to America, Good bye to the Sun, Goodbye to the Moon, Goodbye to eyes turned to the stars in high dreams and expansion, Goodbye to the blossoming of love. Goodbye to family and those dearest (Although goodbye is not gone.. especially in this day and age of technology) Goodbye to heat. Goodbye to the desert and the lake and stone and sage and pine. Goodbye to our tans. Goodbye to wonderful food. Goodbye to noise and smells.  Until we meet again... 

Klinikum

That means hospital and that is where willow and I are right now. 

We got home Friday (I'm working on sitting the pictures and telling those stories and will soon). Saturday was spent recovering and Sunday Willow asked to go with some friends to the pool. Her friend Martin just got his drivers licence and swung by to pick her up on his motorcycle. Of course this made me nervous but he is responsible and the streets of Weimar and alert German drivers pose little threat when compared to the USA. She is growing up and I have to let her. The drive home and back were uneventful. However she chose to jump off the 5 meter platform (15 feet up) and she landed flat on her side. She is bruised from knee to shoulder and can't take a full breath or laugh without severe pain. I monitored her and decided when she woke up today to get it checked out.  the Dr. Recommended chest X-ray's to make sure she didn't crack a rib. She is in good spirits despite the pain.

We return now to the waiting...

Laying tracks

Here we are on the almost eve of vacation. And we are just about ready. The bags are packed and double checked. Sunscreen (for our now very pale and ivory skin) and power adapters being among some of the top most priorities.

 I have lined up some neighbors  to gather our mail. They are funny old couple. They were quite impressed with the improvement in my German from our first and only real prior interaction which required a translator and boiled down to the neighbor ranting and raving that apples from my tree where falling in his yard.

Anyway, I have just a few more things to tidy up today... Bathrooms, floors and a last load or two of laundry. Not much but enough to keep me busy and my mind off the looming adventure. Besides I absolutely love returning to a clean and welcoming home!

For the most part our tracks have been laid. A four day weekend in Marina where we will be driving  the children to see friends, enjoying and indulging in Food.... I am drooling over the idea of Cilantro and Black Beans not to mention Sushi.

We will attend a play at the children's theater and we will also have a beach bonfire. Then its homeward bound. Where family anxiously await our arrival. The cousins to start with and a trip to Sand Harbor.

Then we will gather (In front of the swamp cooler no doubt) with the rest of the family and tell our tales over food and drink.

We have a Friday night BBQ planned with friends from all directions coming. French Dave and the old college crowd will likely be around and Nell will be up from Berkeley. Others as well. Good times to be had for sure.

Sunday we will be back up at Sand Harbor with a group that will include Sydney.

Then a week of relaxing with family, taking care of some business with the car and dmv, and welcoming and entertaining family that is arriving for a reunion/union. I imagine with all the little kids, much time will be spent around the Peppermill's  pool.

Things will wind down after that. We will leave with our batteries completely recharged!!

Now to scrub those floors...

See you on the flip side!

June.

June?

Its June? 

Oh #$*T! 

Really? 

Already?

The year began so drowsy. 

November, December, January, Feb, March swimming in darkness. 

Then the sun emerged and the world unfurled. 

Apple blossoms have since given way to fruit. 

There is no denying that it is summer. 

The kids wade through end of the year exams. 

I wade through the logistics of our trip. 

A sense of being bogged down but knowing that soon those chains of responsibilities will soon fall and then 

we will catapult into a period of leisure and laughter. Weeee!  

Crap. 

I have work to do.

Quick Snippets and such

I am not finding much time at my desk at the moment (I am prepping for a party) so here are a few quick updates on random things going on.

Connor is off his Meds

Tattoo

Rosie Project

The Joys of Laundry... AKA... How I Enjoyed Mother’s Day

As we left for our vacation we got a brief note from Greg's Aunt Linda. All it said was “when the sun shines today, it will be mama smiling from heaven. will be in touch.” Well Grandma smiled on us with a vengeance all weekend long. She is first in line to get her wings. We love you Grandma! And our thoughts and prayers go out to Aunt Linda. We love you too.

As we got home Sunday afternoon I opened a lovely e-card from my Aunt Sharon about how I should sit and relax and enjoy Mother's day. At the end she scrawled a quick note that basically read “After you attend to the chores.” 

Ha Ha!

"When can I write? When can I write?" Words pound around in my skull. Getting the story down is the only thing I want to do but chores claim my attention first. The "Coming home from vacation" chores ..like Laundry, shopping and such. Add on top of that the "Im now seeing my home with fresh eyes because I have been looking at other peoples houses" ,"Damn its dusty!", "And its Spring!' , "And I must clean every corner... Every drawer." chores. Its a rather manic state and woo to those that get in my way. The energy of the sun recharged me. The excitement of the city pumping away in my veins. Motivated, I am making huge strides. Up and down the stairs, Here and there stopping for 20 minutes to jot notes, make lists, or work on scribbling out Connors medical history in German to prep for an appointment. Eventually the adrenaline begins to fade. Moments of quick note jotting and brainstorming become full fledged writing sessions with words dropping off my fingertips and splashing across the screen.

And here is what I have to tell about Mothers Day... Other than the drive and the chores and the manic happy state productive state I have found myself in for days...

While on vacation, I had the chance to read a short story by an author I have enjoyed in the past. Quite honestly I didn't' want to waste my vacation on the Rosie Project. Reading it is more like a chore. So... "The Slow Regard of Silent Things" by Patrick Rothfuss.  It was beautiful and magical. It really amounts to the story of a broken girl who lives alone and underground. It chronicles her life for the breadth of 6 days during which time she is prepping for a friend to visit. One of the most enduring parts of the story is the reverence and honor that the girl has for the few possessions she owns and for the world in which she lives. I finished the story on the drive home and it was fresh on my mind as we walked in the door. As I scurried about in the basement from room to room, hanging and folding and what not, my mind reflected on the space.  And I was doing the last bit of laundry Sunday night  I  realized just how very thoughtful this house is too provide mom a shower in the laundry room and how grateful I am for it.

Yes, my shower is in the basement of the house. I have always loved it. The water is quickly hot and steamy because it's right next to water heater. Its spacious. The other shower in the house is used mostly by the kids which is narrow and every time I turn around in it I knock the temperature to one extreme or the other. Its not enjoyable. Greg gets daily dibs on the bathtub...He doesn't have the hair to wash.. but we all make good use it from time to time.  

Anyway... the Moms shower is super accommodating. After housework, one can toss their grimy clothes in to the last load of laundry and step right into the waters warm embrace.

There is great joy of returning home to do the laundry and wash the road off. A mothers sigh of contentment.

Wings and prayers

The excitement begins to set in and travel plans begin to fall into place. Slowly at first. Airline tickets booked. Whew! We leave (and arrive) on Greg's  birthday. We are doing it in style. Business class all the way.  Then three weeks of family and friends. The whats and wheres now become the question.  Oh so many possibilities to dream up. And believe me my mind is spinning.

Details... details... details ... where to start?

Monterey..  the first leg. After our trip to Amsterdam I will attend to hotels, Rental cars and jugging the kids and our social arrangements there. Then I'll move on to the next leg.

I take a  deep breath and turn my attention to more immediate needs. Reservations made. Tickets printed. Itenerary created. All that remains for preparation is laundry and shopping. I got this one in the bag. Just about ready to lean back and enjoy the canals and culture of the Netherlands. 

(I have no real words to describe how amazed/humbled/thankful I am at the unexpected course my life has taken and I look forward with great anticipation to what lays around the next few bends.)

Todays word of the day... Puckish

While writing up this post, the notification on my phone beeps. My dictionary app providing me with the word of the day. Its meaning might not transfer directly to this post... but somehow it relates.

Well that is that... The playoffs are over for the Blackhawks.  I watched the scores from afar. Caught what little I could of the games. It wasn't their best year. It wasn't their worst either. The team was not quite the same with Sharpie gone.

Maybe now the Cup will follow the Stars... Somehow navigate its way to him. (Mind you just this season.) That would be nice.

Now we fall into the in-between time.

We will see you again in October.

I put the zing in Spring

Spring
Days stretch longer... brighter
Flowers, Birdsong.
Something inside awakens... stirs
Keyboard, Canvas
Shapes take form... definition
Clickityclack, clickityclack
Stroke Stroke Stroke... Zing


I have dug into the files and pulled out a promising piece of writing I started sometime ago.  Feels good to work the words once again.

On canvas I have been challenged. Three generations tackling the same subject in different mediums. Should be interesting to see what we each turn out.

Between the lines.

I have a book club going on here and we just finished a story called the "The Goldfinch."  It was an interesting story. Tragic and beautiful. A story of a trauma victim, the secret/illegal position of a priceless painting, detachment, drug abuse and criminal friends. At times, I hated the style of the author (It took 10 years to write so I expect that the grammar errors were intentional, shudder)  but all told it was a decent, if not long, read.  I suppose I could call it relate-able in that I have seen the life it portrayed for a time in Vegas and I  could confirm the reality of it to my European and Australian book mates. But it was not a book that I considered Quotable or one that touched me personally. At least not until the last few pages where the story's main character  is reflecting on how he came to put his story into the words we have just read.  He is reflecting on his journals. How they are filled with personal letters to his dead mother, Notes from the interactions with his mentor, dreams, social moments and other misc. gobble de gook. I can relate to how fragmented notebooks become. Anyway, he explores the notion that despite the fact that he omits all discussion of the painting (his secret) he sees it on every page that he has ever written. In his own words:

"Because: if our secrets define us, as opposed to the face we show the world: then the painting was the secret that raised me above the surface of life and enabled me to know who I am. And it's there: in my notebooks, every page, even though it's not. Dream and magic, Magic and delirium. The Unified Field Theory. A secret about a secret."

He also delves into the necessity to find joy among the horrors. 

Anyway, the book is done and on the shelf it goes. Whew. Time to read something light and fun.

 

A bit of bliss

There is something about the sun that warms not only skin but also heart and mind. It produces joy and touch of euphoria. Life brightens. Flowers emerge.  On a day like today anything seems possible. 

I need a song to sing

I need a song to sing. I shuffle through the music horde of my mind and land on a tune. Hum a bar of "you've lost that loving feeling" and then I stop. That's not it. My fire burns eternal. What then? I don't know. I've been going through this process over and over. But the tune eludes me. An irritation. Consternation. If I were to make up a song on my own it would start with a scream of "Ahhhhh!" Accompanied with hair pulling. Hmmm... Long live Punk!

I cry uncle and brush the dust off

I have returned. Why here and not on the Sauerkraut and Sausages blog? Well this doesn't seem to fit with the theme of "Our Deutsche Adventures". This post is more reflective and personal and its in line with my past use of this space. I need a place to stretch myself beyond the "this and that" of  the everyday even if the everyday is rather extraordinary and amazing and I can't believe that it is really my life. Anyway,,, 

My grandmother was a woman who was always reading the signs. I find I am much like her in that regard .. and in others. How easily the words "nocternal recluse" could apply to me if I let them and perhaps they will once my child rearing responsibilities are through.. but I digress.  Lately I have been contemplating connections and asking for signs and direction. And I have been getting them. A pair of ravens sitting on the fence watching the house. A quote that appeared seemingly out of no where. And most recently, yesterday, while on a contemplative walk through the park, a tree branch fell at my feet. I had been reflecting on a recent change in my personal path. The branch was in the shape of the Rune Elhaz  and was far too large and imposing to be dismissed. This is not a rune I have worked much with in the past but it is a paired with Sowilo (the sun rune with which I am quite familiar) So anyway, a quick study of Elhaz indicated that it signifies a beneficent new influence, willing sacrifice, the exchange of lesser for greater good. It is a sign of protection. It speaks of walking through these reeds that when forced will slice you like papercuts but if you move softly they will bend and yield.  I take it to mean that my change in course is for the best. I am no longer pressing an issue but have yielded to the elements at hand. Why bleed when I don't need to.  And despite a change in course, I know my destination really hasn't changed. My getting there now rests more in divine hands. 

"Elk´s sedge has its home / most often in the fen / it waxes in the water / and grimly wounds / and burns with blood / any man / who in any way / tries to grasp it"
(Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem)