Growing older means...

Braces! Her face says Yay! But her mouth really says Ouch.

The night after their installation, Little Tree Climber tapped me on the shoulder early in the morning to let me know she was in pain and that her meds had worn off. We got her taken care of and back to sleep. The interruption to sleep, however, provided a rare glimpse into my dreams.  It was like a sitcom. I got the impression I was in my 20s and in College. My room mate was the secretary from the surfrider chapter here. In real life a cute college student. Our room was at the top of a tower in a casino (although I didn't realize this until after I left the suite). Its not a casino I have been in in real life. Though elements of those that I have been in exist within it and I can recall a familiarity of it as if I have been there in other dreams. Anyway.. There is a security guard who hangs out with us... His appearance is a surprise to me as he is not someone I have seen in in real life in almost two years.. a brother to once dear friends.  Time and space all jumbled up. Icons of all sorts of ages and stages of my life swirling and coalescing in this dream vortex. Anyway, My roommate and I were having a drink in the room with the guard. This was prohibited as it was a dorm room. I laughed about it to the security guard and said with a smile and assurance.. "You'd never turn us in" He laughed and said "No. Not about this." Then his expression changed and he picked up the phone and started to talk to the  authorities in police code requesting back up all the while looking at me like I was a criminal. I didn't get the impression he was kidding. I panicked and fled fearing the heat on my heels. It was a very long panic filled escape dream. Not wanting to be detected I wound my way down long and never ending corridors.. the kind you run down and run down but never get anywhere. I avoided elevators and went down stairwells, got to the ground floor and got lost amid machines. It never once looked like anyone spotted me or was even looking for me. Finally I made it out into the light. That is when little tree climber tapped my shoulder. It was strange to see my dreams in such avid detail as well as seeing what thoughts are mixing around in my subconscious.

Growing older also means skin biopsies (likely its benign). A strange but not uncommon discoloration began on my cheek a little over 12 years ago during pregnancy which has changed some over the years and become more pronounced. Better to check it now then have something to worry about later.

And that brings me back to my little tree climber. This Thanksgiving she turns 12. Its sort of an right of passage age. No longer a child by any means but still far from adulthood. Time for ever expanding responsibility. Time to start letting out more (invisible) leash. I've known people who literally leash their children around the waist or wrist. I was never one of those. But I have held her close. I have coddled her. I have kept her fairly innocent. I have kept her safe. But in order to be in the world later and on her own, she needs to start seeing some of the bitter reality of the world now. Its time to wake her from the sweet dreams of childhood. Time to grow her into womanhood. How this is done? I have no idea... but then when I bore her.. I had no idea how to raise  her a day let alone raise her this far. At the time, the panic and fear of how and what and when weighed heavily. Now I realize that we aim far but take it day by day... checking gauges, adjusting sails. With the last 12 years under our belts, I have faith that we are up to the challenge of this new stage. Steady as she goes. How exciting it is too.  Now I get to watch her blossom. And I know she will do so spectacularly.

Now on to the celebrating and the stopping and taking count of all of my many blessings!!!