Knocked down and dragged out of the game without much fight left. F*^king flares. I hate them. I have not had one quite so intense or as long lasting as this one for a long time. I had almost forgotten that I could feel so damn crappy. Today is the last day of fall vacation for the kid and so this is the last day I have to coddle myself but after a week and a half I think (hope) I am on the serious mend. The weather changed just after the party... That plus the falling down.. plus the alcohol which triggers gout.. plus the inevitable post party blues when life returns to normal and those that sit closest to your heart disappear back into walls of their own lives.. it was the most perfect brew of "lets kick her ass" that has been concocted in a great many years. And to think I used to feel this way every day for years. Im thankful however that it didn't effect my mind too much this go around.. clothes in the dishwasher, milk in the cupboard, tongue stuttering and unable to form words.. All when I know where things go and I know what I have to say and yet I don't function right. The frustration. Yes It could have been worse. But still it has not been pleasant. What can you do? You have to keep going, have to keep moving, have stay ahead of the pain. Either that or throw in the towel and succumb. Shall I move 2 inches a minute and attempt to weed whack or simply crawl in bed and prove completely ineffectual? Neither way is pleasant. Anyway.. I have no desire to linger on the topic of my infirmary. Only to note it, recognize it. It is a part of me that refuses to be denied recognition. It screams.. "You are frail and weak and I will make you pay!" Pay for what I don't know. All I do know is I hate this shit and it is time to take some medicine.
In other news.. there is not to much. My news is what I make of life and if I spend it curled up like an ineffectual lump.. well.. Ive not got much to say.
Well I do have a few stories, Melissa gave me a mixed cd. Mixed cds are among my most favorite gifts ever received. I have only had a chance to quickly peruse it but already I know this one ranks up there with some of my favorites. I need to get the list of tracks from her. Anyway..
In other news, I witnessed a really interesting animal interaction the other day. Splash and I were walking around the property and there was a cat out near the chickens. I released Splash to chase the cat.. but he didn't get it. he looked at me for instruction and I said "Go" and slapped him on the hind end. He started chasing the chickens for a second instead before I reigned him in. This happened to be in the horse pasture. Now normally he and the horses let each other alone and the horses where across the property. However the birds commotion drew the horses over at a full gallop. They stopped, checked things out and then proceeded to nudge and herd Splash away from the chickens in a very protective manner. It was a sight.
Its time to start prepping Halloween costumes and planning out the holidays and willows birthday. I suppose that can wait until I saddle up tomorrow because today I plan to finish my physical mending so Im ready for the road and all it holds.
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